This is an awesome article that a friend sent me , it does a really good job at applying the Titus 2 text to a single woman's life !!
Learning From Younger Woman
At the age of 23, my daughter lives a very different life than what I did at that age. She is a PhD student. At 23, I had been married for a year, and I was already thinking about having children. In conversation with her, and watching her future unfold, I'm getting a window into world I'm not all that familiar with: that of the young, single, Christian woman. It's been eye-opening. I've come to see that occasionally, my view of "biblical womanhood" is biased, and I need to change that.
As women, we are expected to teach younger women, but our teaching ought not to be restricted to married women alone. Yes, Titus 2:3-5 does indicate that aspect of teaching young women, but that passage is not the only portion of Scripture that ought to guide us in how we teach and encourage other women. I am learning that I must not give the impression that living as a godly woman can be accomplished only in the roles of wife and mother. A young, single woman isn't excluded from being a godly woman until she's married and has children. Would I really say to my daughter that she can live however she wants until she gets married, or that the only way to be godly is to get married? That she's "on hold" until she walks down the aisle? I wouldn't.
Single women may tell you that it's frustrating when others treat their singleness as if it's some sort of waiting stage that is meant to be got over with as soon as possible; that it's not "real" life. Some young women will share stories with you of how embarrassing and awkward it is when they receive the inevitable question: "So, dear, when are you going to settle down?" Singleness is not meant to be endured; it's meant to be lived.
As women, we are expected to teach younger women, but our teaching ought not to be restricted to married women alone. Yes, Titus 2:3-5 does indicate that aspect of teaching young women, but that passage is not the only portion of Scripture that ought to guide us in how we teach and encourage other women. I am learning that I must not give the impression that living as a godly woman can be accomplished only in the roles of wife and mother. A young, single woman isn't excluded from being a godly woman until she's married and has children. Would I really say to my daughter that she can live however she wants until she gets married, or that the only way to be godly is to get married? That she's "on hold" until she walks down the aisle? I wouldn't.
Single women may tell you that it's frustrating when others treat their singleness as if it's some sort of waiting stage that is meant to be got over with as soon as possible; that it's not "real" life. Some young women will share stories with you of how embarrassing and awkward it is when they receive the inevitable question: "So, dear, when are you going to settle down?" Singleness is not meant to be endured; it's meant to be lived.
Singleness is a stage we all go through as women; it's just shorter or longer, depending on each woman. Singleness is a time to grow in the things of God and draw closer to Him. It's a time to learn solid theology. Some of the teaching may be geared toward marriage and children, yes. Ultimately, though, just like we want young mothers to know that their sufficiency is in Christ and not a well-ordered family life, we want single young women to know that their identity is in Christ, not in their marital status or their careers. At every stage of our lives, our identity is found in Christ, not our circumstances. If we make our identities dependent up any circumstance, we are setting ourselves up for a crisis when the circumstances change, as they inevitably do.
Ultimately, teaching young women is not about prescribing a particular set of behaviours; it's about pointing a woman to Christ, and emphasizing that God is in control of every aspect of her life. When I as an older women teach the younger, it is indeed wise to teach them about the roles of wife and mother because those are biblical roles. But it's just as helpful to guide her how to approach biblically matters such as her finances, her conduct in the workplace, her relationships with men and women, her relationship with her family and church, and how she may serve.
Right now, the most pressing issue my daughter faces is the very daunting prospect of being able to support herself. Furthermore, she's a Christian woman working and learning in a feministic, secular, academic environment. She's in hostile territory. Having solid teaching is imperative as she faces these two challenges and looks to see them in the light of who she is in Christ. Teaching young women how to make practical connections between biblical doctrine and their everyday lives seems to me to be an approach that will benefit young women at every stage, not just when they are single or when they become wives and mothers.
I hope my daughter marries some day, and I hope she becomes a mother, because she will be a wonderful, gentle, loving, mother. She has been taught a lot about the expectations of wife and mother; she's heard it all of her life because she grew up in the church. What she must now learn more deeply is how desperately she needs Christ at every point in her life. First and foremost, it is my prayer that this may be her song:
Ultimately, teaching young women is not about prescribing a particular set of behaviours; it's about pointing a woman to Christ, and emphasizing that God is in control of every aspect of her life. When I as an older women teach the younger, it is indeed wise to teach them about the roles of wife and mother because those are biblical roles. But it's just as helpful to guide her how to approach biblically matters such as her finances, her conduct in the workplace, her relationships with men and women, her relationship with her family and church, and how she may serve.
Right now, the most pressing issue my daughter faces is the very daunting prospect of being able to support herself. Furthermore, she's a Christian woman working and learning in a feministic, secular, academic environment. She's in hostile territory. Having solid teaching is imperative as she faces these two challenges and looks to see them in the light of who she is in Christ. Teaching young women how to make practical connections between biblical doctrine and their everyday lives seems to me to be an approach that will benefit young women at every stage, not just when they are single or when they become wives and mothers.
I hope my daughter marries some day, and I hope she becomes a mother, because she will be a wonderful, gentle, loving, mother. She has been taught a lot about the expectations of wife and mother; she's heard it all of her life because she grew up in the church. What she must now learn more deeply is how desperately she needs Christ at every point in her life. First and foremost, it is my prayer that this may be her song:
Whom but I have in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps. 73:24-25)
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