Welp have to apologize !! I didn't realize I hadn't touched this blog for 3 months. In all fairness I have had a full plate, from getting my TESOL Credentials on the weekend , working full time during the week, trying to balance healthy relationships with friends and family and trying to use all the spare time I can find to work on packing for a move to Africa. The house has been a whirlwind of a mess with suitcases and piles of stuff in what seems like every corner of each room . It's all part of the process ,things have to get worse, more cluttered before they can be organized and put in there place. As we are just about 3 weeks out from departure I can confidently say I'm feeling more organized and and calm .
The devil has been relentless in his attacks on my body , mind and spirit . As time gets closer to leaving and plans become more concrete the road has become more challenging to walk . I have been tested in multiple areas. High stress and anxiety have manifested themselves in various forms . Besides this I have been blessed in not getting seriously sick this year. The Lord is daily preparing my heart and mind for the future . I will be thrown into a world of unknowns , far out side my comfort zone. My way of life , including simple daily tasks will require me to adapt and cope in whole new and unfamiliar way . Yes it will be exciting , yes it will be new , yes it will be challenging , yes I will be homesick , yes I might cry more then normal , yes I will have rewarding days , and yes through it ALL God will carry me through.
I have meet many people through my blog and social media who have started to follow along as I begin this new adventure . I receive comments daily about how cool i am and how amazing it is that I get to do this . There's this over romanticized view about missions and life on the field .The call of God to serve Him overseas in lesser developed parts of the world is not for every one or nobody would be left to live in the states . If it was an easy , non sacrificial decision then I wouldn't have fought it for 24 years . It's scary ! There is risk involved! Challenges to overcome! But much joy , freedom, and reward to be had for the servant of God who follows Him wherever He may lead. It is a blessing and honor to be called to such a life don't get me wrong , but also a huge cost to count . The Father never promised our happiness but He has promised our holiness . If we will surrender and obey , He will bless , sanctify , and glorify these mortals bodies to mirror His perfect holinesss. The fact that God would save those who once rejected Him , and use as instruments to further His kingdom and accomplish work on this earth continues to blow my mind. The Lord doesn't need us but chooses to use us for His glory and our good.
****These song lyrics are taken from Isaiah and have been my strength and song in recent weeks**** (Meredith Andrews Soar)
You say You won't relent , won't forget , won't let go .
As I wait on You , i am going to run and not grow weary.
I am going to walk and not grow faint.
Rise up on wings like eagles and soar.
I know in everything You are with me .
I know Your working as I wait .
Creator, Keeper , my life Breather.
Sustainer, Savior and Stronghold Breaker .
Soo thankful for the promises that God gives me to hold onto to . Regardless of how I feel or what I believe in the moments of defeat , confusion and dispare I'm humbled by the knowledge that God never lets go , never naps on us, is ever present and consistently faithful .
