I Had A Dream!!!!

I had a dream that I would hold a bachelor and hold a certificate that states I finished 1600 hours of beauty school by the time I was 21. For me, to set goals and reach them without quitting or giving up even when I want to with everything in me feels sooo rewarding. Of course I could never have gotten through it without the help of my loving Savior and the support of my family and friends who constantly served as my sideline cheer squad. 

To say the least it has been one very very hard and stressful year. A lot took place and there was a lot thrown on my plate, day in and day out I had to choose between quitting or striving forward.  I opened and successfully closed yet another chapter in my life and it feels sooo good. School was not an easy task for me to take on , it took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, dedication, hard work, long hours, and sleepless nights just to name a few things. Hahhaaha ohh the joy and happiness I feel to be finished and have all my school years completely and totally behind me. 

I am so excited to see what the Lord has for me next. People keep asking me if I know what salon I want to work at or what I want to do next. Honestly I don't know for sure........I know God has huge things out there for me that go far beyond a paycheck and making a living. What that looks like exactly I do not know yet. In the mean time I am remaining faithful to following where He leads and listening for His guiding voice. There are deep desires in my heart that I long for more then anything but that the Lord has asked me to hand over to Him, to wait patiently on, and to trust in His perfect will and timing. While I wait for and anticipate these things to come to pass continue to seek our contentment and peace in the place that He has me in right here and now. This is easier said then done but I am so grateful that I don't have to go it alone, that Savior loving leads me by the hand knowing every high and low place up ahead . That every bend and winding turn in the road has already been mapped out by the navigator of my heart and life. What peace and comfort comes from the knowledge of this great truth. Thank you Lord. Only He know the plans He has for me, but this I do know that they are plans for a hope and future and not to harm or destroy me. Praise the Lord!

The Beginning of the End and the Start of Forever

Today marks the first day of the last week of school for me!!! School at Paul Mitchell that is. It has been one of the longest most trying year for me and I cannot be more grateful to my heavenly Father for carrying me all the way. On the days that is seemed i would literally not make it out, both physically mentally and emotionally Christ who is ever faithful, ever sovereign, ever gracious , not giving us more then we can handle sustained my soul. There were dark mornings of feeling depressed and overwhelmed by the sin and environment of school that i would just cry and cry asking why I had to go one more day. There is such a heavy, dark cloud over peoples souls and it is soo hard to keep ones self afloat in a spiritual battle. Christ has continued to show me and give me evidence of the promise that this work that He has begun in me He will complete it, that not matter how dark a place may seem He will bright through my one little life if I but let Him. I am not saying that this calling is an easy one by any means but I am here to testify that is a rewarding and satisfying one.
As I finish this last week strong and cross the finish line, completely a goal I set for myself over two years ago I am proud to say well done. It has always been in planted in me to finish something once it has been started and I have faithfully done that. I set a goal for myself to finish college and cosmetology school by the age of 21 and it feels good to look back at all the hard work, sweat and tears (literally) and see the task completed. I am soo excited to see where the Lord takes me and all the doors He opens for me along the way as I am now free from the burden of school. The Lord has already proven faithful as He has already opened doors and provided opportunities in the near future for me to bless others with the gifts, talents and passions He has so graciously poured out. Our God is great and greatly to be praised, in the highs and lows He is ever faithful ever true never failing with love unending.

WAITING

This post I read this week really encouraged me and served as a great reminder. I wanted to share it because I know for sure I am not the only person who struggles in the area of being patient and waiting on the Lord for the desires of my heart !!!

Waiting on the LORD
August 6, 2012 by Paul Tautges | 0 comments

Do you like to wait? If we are honest, most of us would have to answer, “No.” We were born with an innate tendency to do what we want to do when we want to do it. Our flesh cringes at the thought of having to wait, yet God’s Word compels us to wait on the Lord. Does this mean that we are to sit back on our spiritual recliner, kick up our feet, and wait for God to show us what to do? No! Contrary to what we may think, waiting on the Lord is not passive. It demands a great deal of effort. It requires saying “no” to our impulsive nature, and living in active submission to His will revealed in His Word. A quick survey of the Scriptures reveals 6 truths about waiting on the Lord.

Waiting on the Lord is not easy. David wrote, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord” (Ps 27:14). Waiting on the Lord requires self-discipline. Rushing ahead to fulfill our own will is not difficult at all, it comes naturally, easily. However, surrendering to the will and ways of God, submitting to the authority of the Word, requires a constant resistance to the flesh. Self-denial is the daily duty of all those who claim to be disciples of Jesus (Matt 16:24). We must, therefore, be realistic and approach the concept of waiting on the Lord with a great deal of vigilence lest we usurp God’s timetable. At the same time, we must be careful not to use, “I am waiting on the Lord,” as an excuse for delayed obedience or a lack of self-discipline.

Waiting on the Lord means trusting in God alone. In order to wait on the Lord, we must cast off all other objects of trust and rest in Him alone. Psalm 62:5 says, “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.” God has a way of stripping the idols out of our lives so that He alone receives our attention. He is the God who will not share His glory with another. Whether it is trust in finances, people, good health, or our own plans, waiting on the Lord means we must willingly abandon those things which replace trust in God.

Waiting on the Lord is essential to discerning God’s will. Psalm 25:4-5 says, “Make me know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day.” The psalmist understood that in order to know the will of God we must desire His guidance and wait for His leading with a teachable and submissive heart. Often times, God does not bring about what we believe to be His will until our hearts are completely surrendered and content in Him alone. As long as our determination is fixed upon what we want, God’s will remains a mystery. If we are not obedient to the truth that He has already revealed, why should He reveal more?

Waiting on the Lord includes confident expectation of His mercy and grace. Psalm 123:2 says, “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress; so our eyes look to the LORD our God, until He shall be gracious to us.” In times of uncertainty, we must have confidence in His character as the God who is gracious and compassionate and full of mercy. We can confidently expect His mercy since He is the God who will never leave or forsake His own. We can rest in the sufficiency of His grace even when we cannot see His plan.
Waiting on the Lord means trusting Him with our hurts. In Proverbs 20:22 we read, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil’; wait for the LORD, and He will save you.” When we are hurt by others, it is tempting to take matters into our own hands and retaliate. Waiting on the Lord means trusting Him enough to be obedient to our responsibilities and leave other matters with Him. It means depositing our hurts into His trustworthy control. After all, He is the only one who is completely just and will one day right all wrongs.

Waiting on the Lord results in experiencing divine strength. Restful submission to the will and ways of God is the way in which He renews our strength. “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary” (Isa 40:28-31). As creatures, we experience times when we are weary, yet God never gets tired. Could it be that God has designed us that way in order to make us aware of our complete dependence upon Him? God delights in us when we wait on Him because He receives more glory and we experience the joy and pleasure of soaring on the wings of His strength and grace.

Singleness- Blessing or a Curse?

Singleness- Blessing or Curse?

Today's guest post is by Emily Duffey, who is a member of the RGCC Staff. Emily is a life-long resident of Kansas City who loves coffee, reading, studying the Word and spontaneous conversations with random people about the things God has done in her life and in this world. Emily has never met a stranger. She is outgoing, friendly, and says she is amazed at how she sees God using her in life.  Enjoy!

I am an avid reader, and I find myself turning to blogs with regularity. I enjoy the vastly differing views from reader to reader, views that offer fresh insight on living this Christian life in a way that glorifies God. I found myself the other day reading through a series of blogs on singleness. I came across one written by a single pastor. The blog post itself was greatly encouraging to me—and then I started to read the comments below. At first, I just rolled my eyes, but the more I read, the more disturbed I became: “Hey, pastor! You should meet my cousin! She would be the perfect wife for you!”  “Pastor, God will bring you the right woman, you just wait”… and my favorite, “Once I became content in Christ, THEN God decided to bless me with a husband!” I am sure these comments were intended to be encouraging—yet all the encouragement boiled down to assurances that God has not forgotten this man in his singleness, and don’t you worry—He will fix that one day! The encouragement becomes a source of great discouragement, and further fuels the discontentment so many singles fight against every day. Singleness can be painted very quickly as a curse to endure, not a blessing to embrace.

So which is it, a blessing or a curse? I vacillate on that question. Some days, I love right where I am: a single woman in her early 30’s, able to serve in a rapidly growing ministry (spending time that would not be available or appropriate, were I married with a family to serve), with the ability to pack up and go whenever I need to go: to various conferences, house sit for a friend, the emergency babysitter… I have the time many of my married friends do not (and frequently wish they did!) to serve in this way.  There are the days, though, I watch my married friends with their husband’s, and let me tell you—it is a battle! I fight discouragement, jealousy, envy, and loneliness (to name a few) with the best of them. These are the days that singleness feeeeeels like a curse. I see how happy my married friends are, and I long for the day that I may be counted among them. I genuinely have to be careful in guarding my thoughts against this line of thinking. It can be difficult in a ‘married church’ to do this. The older I get, the less single women there are around me; most of my friends are married, raising families, simply living the life I WANT to have. It is so easy to fall into self-pity and the “why me?” thinking.

I fight the same battle of countless single women, ceaseless questioning that swirls around in the recesses of my mind (usually at the most inopportune moments)… Why am I still single? Why doesn’t God want to bless me with a husband, a family? What did I do wrong? What do I need to fix so that God would change His mind about me? What do others do that God blesses them, and forgets about me?

I struggle GREATLY with hearing so many women tell me, "once I became content in God, THEN He blessed me with a husband" as though THAT is the magic formula... get content, do whatever it takes, because that's when God will decide to bless you. We totally miss what God is doing in those moments... to become content in Christ is the goal, not to get a husband! I am to find my contentment and solitude in the Lord, period—if that means I one day end up a wife or NOT!

Singleness IS a blessing, as is marriage. The question is, which blessing have do you have now? It changes!!... I hear singles wishing to be married, and marrieds wishing they were single again, able to serve undistractedly. Do we use our singleness to be undistractedly devoted to the Lord? Or is it more opportunity for sin? Singleness is not a curse (although, at times, it sure can feel like one!). This begs the question, though—where is my focus in those moments, when it feeeeeels so horrible to be precisely where God has put me? In those moments it is critical I remember the truth of Scripture. I ask myself the hard questions—the ones I need to hear, even if I don’t want to meditate on these truths at that moment in time. I pray through the Scripture to focus my thoughts on His thoughts; I aim to become more like Christ in those moments.

 Is God sovereign over my marital state? Yes. God is God, and God does what He wants with what is His. Everything God does is for His glory—and for my good!
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Is God truly enough? When God is enough…we stop checking out every guy who walks through the front doors of the church for wedding bands and sizing up the single ones as potential mate for the future. When He is enough... we stop trying to 'hook up' everyone in the universe, and we humble ourselves before GOD, waiting on Him to reveal His perfect will in every situation... moment by moment, knowing that if He wishes me to marry, the perfect man will walk into my life for this purpose, and NOTHING I can do will thwart God's purposes. I cannot drive off the man God has put in my path for me to marry! We walk forward in the state we are in—the one God has sovereignly placed us in—and rest in His goodness.

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psa 62:5-8

Is God good?  This might seem like a strange question to ask at this moment, but what happens when we fall into self-pity and our focus is solely upon our marital state, lacking contentment in where God has placed us, envious of what others have and we do not—we are calling in to question the goodness of God Himself. Emotions easily get in the way of remembering this truth—God is good, and God loves me because I am His. Nothing can separate me from His love. I am secure in Christ.

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 8:37–39

What benefit is there for me to be single at this moment in time? I can serve undistractedly. I can encourage and exhort other (single) sisters in Christ to follow Jesus, and live my life in a way that glorifies God and points to His perfect will. I can rest confidently knowing God’s plan is always perfect, and that if I do marry, He is working out His perfect will in that man as well. If I remain single, I can be encouraged to know that this is purposeful and intentional, and I can glorify God with confidence in His goodness.

But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.  1Cr 7:32–35

I never saw myself as a single in my 30’s. I had this arbitrary number in my head that 23 was the perfect age to be married. I quickly learned when I rolled over into 24, and then 25… and beyond… that I cannot set an age on what God is doing in my life. I am encouraged, though, to know that God knows what is on my heart. He knows the desires of my heart better than I do. I often find myself at a loss, how to pray… do I pray for a husband? Do I pray for contentment to remain in this state? I rest, knowing that the Spirit of God is interceding on my behalf before the Father, praying for the things I don’t even know to be praying for.

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  Rom. 8:26–28

So, I stand, waiting for God's man to initiate, as does countless other single women in the church; I wait, finding my contentment in Christ... but I'm not waiting for a husband. I'm waiting for my Lord to work out His perfect will in me.

Confessions Of Woman Counselors: Part 6

Should Woman Counsel Men?? 
Vanessa Ellen July 17, 2012


Women Counseling Men?
Statistically, most churches report a larger percentage of women in attendance than men; or they report a slightly higher percentage of women attending church more often than men. Most often women make up the bulk of the volunteer force as well. So quite naturally we can assume that the majority of members serving as counselors in the local church are women.

On one hand, this is a great opportunity for women to use their gifts and talents to serve the Body of Christ. On the other hand, one might wonder if having women counsel men is the best approach to a counseling ministry. In order to continue the discussion on this issue a couple of things must be considered such as: theological implications and fleshly temptations.

Theological Implications
If indeed the words Pastor, Bishop and Elder are synonyms and refer to one who rules over the church, then Paul’s instructions to Timothy (1 Timothy 2:11-14) become relevant to this discussion. In this verse, the Apostle Paul instructs women not to teach or exercise authority over a man. The context of Paul’s admonition is the local church.

Women who serve as counselors in the church are providing spiritual insight; they are teaching men biblical truths and holding them accountable to fulfill biblical mandates. They are ruling over their counselee in an authoritative manner. In my interpretation and application of this passage, this would be a violation of Paul’s instructions to women because they have authority over their counselee and are instructing their counselee in biblical truths within the local church. The Apostle Paul is emphasizing definite role distinctions that are timeless and are commands for all Christians to obey. Women should not be in any position of authority in the local church that would resemble the Pastoral role of shepherding men.

Even so, in the book of Titus (Titus 2:3-5) women are encouraged to teach other women how to live a righteous lifestyle. In essence, women can assume the role of guiding (shepherding) other women in the Body of Christ under the authority of their male leadership. Thus, one can conclude that women can serve as biblical counselors in the local church. However their focus should be on teaching and instructing other women in matters of spiritual difficulty as it relates to living the Christian life.

As we recall the statistics of women to men ratios in most local churches, there are more women in the church therefore a woman can have a rich ministry life counseling other women. She never has to feel unworthy or less useful because she cannot counsel men. It is just the opposite, she can find joy in the reality that God can use here mightily in the area of counseling women.

Fleshly Temptations
As we continue to search for biblical answers to the question, “Should women counsel men?” we must consider the potential perils of the flesh when women counsel men or vice versa. Our great God has given us natural inclinations of attraction: female to male and male to female (Romans 1:22-27). These natural inclinations can become emotionally confusing when the counselor “seems” to understand you or “seems” to provide the spiritual conversations that are missing at home. Many tragic testimonies can be told of the counselor and the counselee crossing a moral line and ruining marriages, ministries and their gospel influence to a lost world.

It is important for us to remember that too much time spent talking and being transparent with people of the opposite sex can lead to moral compromise. This does not pertain only to the area of counseling. This is a reality worthy of consideration across the board: at work, in school, in the church, on vacation, at family gatherings and many others.

Additionally, due to the fallen nature of man these same attractions can happen with the same sex. However, we were designed to have a natural desire for the opposite sex but not the same sex. Thus, we could conclude that it is better for women to counsel women and men to counsel men. This certainly will not prevent anyone from choosing to sin and engaging in ungodly relationships; however, it will provide a system for a spiritual safety net for those who diligently seek to live a righteous life before God.

As it relates to men counseling women, this is not an all-encompassing rule that should always apply to pastors or male leaders of a local congregation. Women should be able to receive the counsel of their pastor; he is their shepherd and as such, he does have a responsibility to disciple those whom the Lord has placed in his congregation. However, the conversation needs to continue in order to expand our awareness of practical ways for male leaders of congregations to further develop creative ways of handling such a sensitive matter.

Concluding Thoughts
Many ideas have been suggested to assist in keeping fleshly temptations at bay such as: developing a counseling ministry that includes woman to woman counseling opportunities so that women will have an opportunity to speak to other women who understand spiritually, emotionally, and biologically what they are going through.

Therefore, we could conclude that it is biblically appropriate and spiritually beneficial to encourage women to counsel women and not men. Certainly there may be times, such as with Pricilla and Aquila (Acts 18:18-28) where women encourage men in spiritual matters, on an individual basis. This is more of an exception than a rule. Also, this does not suggest that these instances draw to an ultimate conclusion that women should hold official positions of authority over men in the local church in order to fulfill these exceptions.

Join the Conversation
This is, of course, a much discussed topic. What are your biblical views on whether women should counsel men and whether men should counsel women?

These questions can lead to other important aspects. How can women fruitfully impact the lives of other women in the local church? How can male leadership use women in the counseling ministry as a help and support to them?

Confessions Of Woman Counselors: Part 5

THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS 
Haley Satrom July 16,2012


Preparation for Ministry
Once upon a time, I lived in a house of 80 women.

Count ‘em: 8-0.

I was in a sorority in college, and this meant that I willingly chose to live in a house of 80 college-aged women. When you live in a house with 79 female roommates, many things become normal to you. Three girls to a bedroom, thirty girls to one very large bathroom, TLC A Dating Story, TLC A Wedding Story, TLC A Baby Story. Tears of laughter, tears of disappointment. Late nights studying, snacking on Twizzlers, dancing to Martina McBride. And late nights talking—about silly things, deep things, sometimes hard things, and often important things.

To some, this lifestyle may sound less than appealing, I realize. But to me, it was truly the source of much joy. I couldn’t have known back then, living in that crowded sorority house, that God was preparing me for the ministry I am so passionate about today.

Women Counseling Women
I am a woman who counsels other women. I get the privilege of spending my work days basically just spending time with other women. I talk with them, I learn about their life stories, I listen to their hearts’ concerns, and I try to come alongside them to seek God in the midst of their trials. I try to encourage them with God’s Word. I comfort them. Sometimes I have to do the hard work of confronting them. I problem solve with them. I pray for them. I pray with them. I watch as God grows and heals them.

In summary, I have the best job in the world; I am a biblical counselor, and I love what I do.

Why It’s Important
I value the ministry of women counseling women—both as a counselor who counsels other women, and also as a counselee who’s been counseled by other women. I appreciate it as someone who works on staff at both a church and a private practice, where I witness daily its many benefits. I believe the ministry of women counseling women is a needed ministry that does much good for the body of Christ.

I could write a long list of reasons why I believe women counseling women is so valuable. I’ll only mention a few at present.

Reason # 1: Women connect with other women in a powerful way, perhaps more quickly and deeply than they do with the average man. The mysteries of the female heart are not so mysterious to females, and because of this, we understand each other in a unique way.

Reason # 2: Furthermore, that connection is safe between counselor-counselee, in a way that (I would argue) it is more safe than it is between a male and female. There is not the same room for confusion of the heart that can occur in a counseling relationship that crosses gender lines.

Reason # 3: That connection is not only quick, deep, and safe, but it is also useful in the tricky moments of the counseling room. My observation has been that female counselors generally feel more freedom to rebuke a fellow female than the average male counselor feels (especially when tears are involved!). A female counselor is going to be quicker to detect manipulation and call it out, because we are, simply put, hard-wired the same.

A Vision for More
For these reasons and more, I desire to see more women of God trained and working as biblical counselors. This occurs with the proactive support of their churches and pastors. Godly women need encouragement from their shepherds to consider this vocation. They need financial help with seminary fees. They need staff positions at churches and in private practices. And they need congregations who understand the benefits of women formally biblically counseling women.

May the Lord let it be so. He has already done so much to grow biblical counseling in its influence and practice among the body of Christ. I look forward to seeing how He will raise up more women to participate in this ministry in the future.

Confessions of Woman Counselors: Part 4

Why Bother? He'll Never Change 
Keri Seavey July 11, 2012 


Thoughts on Submission, Passivity, and Vigilant Love in Marriage
“I just can’t do this anymore!” said a hopeless and exasperated Gina, following yet another relational bomb that had gone off over the weekend with her husband Mark. Gina and Mark have been married for 26 years. They are both believers who are active in church and ministry.

Mark is a very structured man who is always in control. He lives life on his own terms, managing his life to the minute. When his scheduled plans fall into place like clockwork which they often do, Mark is easy to get along with. Yet when people or circumstances impact his rigid schedule, sinful anger is quick to flow which leaves a  wake of relational damage in its trails.

Gina is normally an easy-going person who does not like conflict. Overlooking Mark’s anger has often come easy for her. Lately, however, she has been finding it harder to forgive and move on, simmering over past events, stewing in her own frustration. She feels powerless  to control her own angry eruptions. She is desperate for help and prayer.

While I agreed that change is needed in how she responds to Mark, she gave a shocked look when I asked her if she planned to speak to Mark about his sin and how it impacts relationships. She quickly dismissed the thought and retorted, “Why bother? He is so set in his ways. He will never change!”

The Perils of Passivity in Marriage
Unfortunately I have seen in many broken marriages the damaging results that years of passivity toward sin can bring. Frustration, disappointment, apathy, and hopelessness are often the result. This passivity essentially chips away at the foundations of love and respect in the marriage and weakens its structure. When life in a fallen world has finally applied enough pressure, the weakened structure may begin to crumble as the sin that has been ignored for years often becomes the sin that we can no longer tolerate.

Exasperated wives are often confused, shocked or even angry at the suggestion that they may be just as responsible for the current condition of their struggling marriage due to their passivity and unwillingness to speak the truth in love regarding sin. Confusion regarding submission is often a culprit.


What’s a Submissive Christian Wife To Do?
With a biblical understanding of complementarian roles, submission, and the Genesis 3 curse, are Christian wives limited to merely “submit, pray ,and get out of God’s way” when faced with our spouse’s sin? Though widely misunderstood and attacked in our culture today, biblical submission is undoubtedly a powerful means of grace in any marriage. It is a beautiful, God-honoring, divine calling of a wife to honor, respect, and uphold her husband’s God-given leadership in the home.

However, does the call to submission negate a wife from lovingly speaking the truth to her husband when he is either blind or stubborn toward the destructive patterns of sin in his life? Would confrontation violate the call to submission?

John Piper has said:

“Submission…does not mean that a wife cannot seek the transformation of her husband, even while respecting him as her head—her leader, protector, and provider… Wives are not only submissive wives. They are also loving sisters. There is a unique way for a submissive wife to be a caring sister toward her imperfect brother-husband. She will, from time to time, follow Galatians 6:1 in his case: ‘If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.’ She will do that for him.”

Love for our husbands would move us to these measures.


The Call to Vigilant Love
Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III define love well in their book Bold Love.

“Bold love is courageously setting aside our personal agenda to move humbly into the world of others with their well-being in view, willing to risk further pain in our souls, in order to be an aroma of life to some and an aroma of death to others.”

Genuine love for our husband would compel us to not only “cover a multitude of sins” by extending grace (1 Peter 4:8), but also, when appropriate, courageously stand against the sin that mars the beauty and grace that God desires (and purchased through Christ) for our husband.

Standing against sin because we love requires sober conviction regarding the bondage and evil of sin and its devastating consequences. It is motivated by a deep longing for, and envisioning of, the beautiful freedom from sin that the application of the gospel would bring to our husband. Loving desires would compel the pushback, yet self-interested fears may keep us from it.

The Obstacles to Overcome
There are many obstacles that may need to be overcome in order for us to love boldly. The love of comfort and/or the desire for peace at any cost may keep us from “rocking the boat” through humble confrontation. Nevertheless, resting in the unshakable peace with God that we have through Christ may free us to risk discomfort for the sake of the one we love.

Fear of man may also keep us ensnared and be a barrier to love when we hang our hope for happiness and meaning in life on the approval we are after from our husband (Proverbs 29:25). However, understanding that we already have the approval from God that we most need because of Christ’s atonement, we can be liberated to love our husband well for his ultimate good.

Fear of our husband’s rejection or retaliation may also paralyze us from engaging in truthful love toward him. Yet, marinating in the perfect love of God through Christ and the resulting fear (awe) of the Lord casts out immobilizing fears regarding the consequences of this bold love (1 John 4:18). The perfect love of Christ in the gospel both sets us free us from our fears as well as informs the manner in which we love.

Jesus’ Valliant Love
Rather than remaining passive toward our sin and the devastating consequences of wrath incurred by it, Jesus’ fierce love compelled Him to act valiantly on our behalf! Throwing off comfort and forsaking all fears, He loved sacrificially and intentionally by atoning for sin by His own death, thereby purchasing our eternal acceptance before God. Though God accepts us solely and fully on the merits of Christ’s death, it is also true that He accepts us with an agenda to change us.

God’s love for us motivates Him to continue to mercifully confront the sins that beset us with the gracious goal of transforming us into the image of Christ from one degree of glory to the next (2 Corinthians 3:18). This process involves ongoing sight, confession, and repentance of our sin alongside the forgiveness and grace that our Savior purchased for it. Sight of sin, Lord-willing, leads to gospel gratitude and grace-empowered change. Sight often comes by way of loving, gospel-soaked, grace-filled confrontation. Wives, are you willing to love your husband in this way?